I started this blog to try to share what we, as a family, are going through, and how I handle it. There have been times that were easier, but the relapses we’ve dealt with since 2012 have really challenged us. It’s not easy for your marriage relationship to turn into a caregiver relationship, and the what has held us together is faith and hope.
We are hopeful that James will recover. We don’t know how much, but we know it’s possible to have a full recovery, because we’ve seen it. I, especially, am hopeful that he will be able to run and play with his kids one day.
We have faith. Somedays, because we have to, and somedays because we choose to. Like, when doctors are telling him to get certain treatments, to make him for comfortable while he declines. Or, when he’s in the middle of a relapse, and by some miracle I am able to help him get off the floor. My petite frame has never carried more than 118 lbs, and James always hovered around 210 when he could stand on a scale. So for me to be able to help him, who is literally twice my size, to get up off the floor–that is nothing short of a miracle. And yet, it’s our reality.
Beyond Boys is the name I chose, to remind myself that I need to care for me. I need to be more than just “mother, caregiver, wife” to the boys in my life. I also have to be Sarah. And take care of Sarah. So I began writing this blog so that I could share my progress, our progress, and what we’re up to as a family. Because, not only do I need to see where we go, but we believe in sharing our story. There is simply no way to help others, if we keep it all in.